EPISODE 1: BELIEF / July 14, 2021
Miata and Kristine settle in to discuss the tricky concept of belief (a.k.a. trust, faith, and confidence) and why we humans are able to nurture those qualities in some areas of our lives yet not in other areas.
Miata reveals what her relationship with money was really like in her early days (hint: not pretty) and Kristine shares what she thinks the number one job of a coach really is.
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Abundance Bound podcast / episode one: Belief
MIATA:
Abundance is not about the amount of money you have. It’s about the quality of the relationship that you have with your money.KRISTINE:
And no matter where you’re at right now, you can decide to become someone who is bound to abundance. Someone who is committed to having a healthier and more compassionate relationship with your money. And you can decide to become someone who is bound towards abundance, someone who is stepping into a more expansive financial future.MIATA:
We are here to help you become abundance bound.KRISTINE:
So who are you Miata Edoga?MIATA:
I am a mother of two children, three dogs, and one cat, and the founder of the Abundance Bound Financial Education Company. And who are you?KRISTINE:
I am Kristine Oller. I am a super-fan of Negranti ice cream – and ice cream in general. And I’m the developer and coach of the Creating Cashflow Program that lives inside of your Abundance Bound Financial Empowerment Program.MIATA:
I’ve known for a long time that you’re a fan of ice cream in general but, I have no idea what Negranti ice cream is…KRISTINE:
Oh my god. Okay, so I will do a little commercial for it. At the end, I will sell you on Negranti ice cream because it’s amazing. But today, we are actually here to talk about belief. You wanted to talk about belief. This is an interesting choice of a word to start us off with because it’s a it’s a tricky concept.MIATA:
You know, what I am really looking at, what I’m really interested in, is why do we do the things we do? And why don’t we do the things we “know” – and I’m putting quotes around the word “know,” – we should do, because that is so important when it comes to being abundance bound… especially the half of “why don’t we do the things we know we should do?” And as I look at that, and really dive into it, I believe that belief is at the core of why we do the things we do and why we don’t do the things we don’t.KRISTINE:
Yeah, often operating unconsciously.MIATA:
Absolutely. The dictionary – I think the Oxford Dictionary – provides this definition of belief… okay, the dictionary says the first definition is “an acceptance that a statement is true, or that something exists.” Okay, an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists. So when I say “I believe that it’s important to exercise every day,” I think I meet that definition and acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists. The second definition is “trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something.” Now, to me that is starting to get to the definition of belief that I really want to talk about today and the type of belief that really matters, because at least for me, there starts to be an emotional component, an emotional connection when I say “trust, faith, or confidence in something or someone okay.” So when we go back to the fitness example, the issue is I have an acceptance – that it is a true statement to say it’s important to exercise every day. I have an acceptance of that. The word I would now use is I understand that it is important to exercise every day. I understand that – I might even say, I know – it’s important to exercise every day. The reason I will now no longer use the word belief, is because if I truly believed it, I would do it. And I don’t with consistency, I go in spurts. But fundamentally, it is a belief, I am working to develop, to actually develop belief in that. And so when I look at why do we do the things we do, and why don’t we do the things we understand, or we know, I believe that what’s happening is that we don’t do the things we quote unquote “know we should do,” because we don’t value it, we don’t prioritize it. And we don’t actually believe in it. So what might drive me to start exercising every day? What might drive me to seek out that exercise program? Well, if I’m honest, it is pain of some kind. It’s that my back starts to hurt, right? I feel weak, I don’t have the energy to do the things that I’m up to in the world – or when just bringing a bag of groceries up the hill has me panting to catch my breath. Or –and I’ve been fortunate not to have this situation – but you go to the doctor, and the doctor raises an alarm: “Miata, you have to start moving your body more regularly, or this, this and this, I’m seeing signs of this.” Right? So if I’m honest, am I up the next morning and jogging or lifting weights because I believe in it? No. I think what has happened is that the priority of it has jumped up, because I am in some sort of pain. But then what happens when the pain eases or the pain stops, the priority of it drops back down again. And because it hasn’t become a belief, I’m done. Again, I stopped the walking every day, I stopped the weight lifting every day. And so that is really why I want to examine the word because I think we have to really start examining the results we’re getting right now in every area of our lives, the results we are getting are because of our current beliefs. And I think that the results we want are going to actually require us to shift our beliefs, not just to prioritize something in a moment or to increase its value in the moment, but to actually shift our beliefs. And I think that in order to shift our beliefs, we have to be willing to get honest about what it is we actually believe versus what we understand and what we know. Right? And then once we’re willing to get honest and clear about what we actually believe. Only then can we start to say what’s the belief that I would need to have in order to really stay the course in this case in order to truly be abundance bound, because then we can start to do the work to shift the beliefs which of course doesn’t happen overnight.KRISTINE:
Yeah, and for the work that needs to be done to be unwavering, or at least consistent, our belief has to be consistent. And what I hear you saying put in terms where I think it hits people consciously, this idea of belief of having trust and faith and confidence… I think people often have trust and faith and confidence that something works. They don’t have trust and faith and confidence and belief that it will work for them. It’s like, “Oh, yeah, I get the the Abundance Bound Financial Empowerment Program can work for some people, I just don’t believe it will work for me.” And then what are the beliefs fueling that belief?MIATA:
Absolutely.KRISTINE:
The good thing, though, is, as you alluded to, is beliefs can be nurtured. Yes, it’s not a switch. Or it’s not something that you have or don’t have, or it’s not just programming that you got in childhood, and now it’s with you forever. It’s like, this is a decision to examine your beliefs, and then to start shifting them by nurturing new thoughts along the lines of: “I trust that this will work for me,” “I’m going to have faith that this will work for me.” My definition of faith is belief without proof.MIATA:
Yes, the belief comes before the proof that it works, right. And that’s, I think, why people make the conclusion of, “Oh, I believe this works for other people, because I can see the proof. But I don’t believe it’ll work for me, because I have yet to see the proof.” And what we are doing is we are tying our belief to external results. And that is a very, very slippery slope. It’s an understandable slope, right?KRISTINE:
The belief has to be detached from the externals, and nurtured internally: “No matter what happens, I’m going to keep moving forward, no matter the doubts that I have, I’m going to keep moving forward.” And that then gives you have this internal trust and faith and confidence in yourself, to have this relationship with your body, or relationship with your money. And I love, love – one of the things I love is that you use the word relationship, because relationships are about belief. “Hi, I’m gonna marry you, I have no idea if we’re going to be together in 10 years or not, because anything could happen.” But if you are together, because you work well as a team, and you last those 10 years, you’ve lost those 10 years, not because everything was perfect. You’ve lost those 10 years, because you both believed that this was worth going through this journey with this other person. And that came from inside of the relationship, not outside.MIATA:
Yes. One of the fundamental beliefs that I think as human beings seeking to have an impact in this world that we have to have is the belief that changing our minds can change our lives, right can change, yes, our relationship with money, but our relationship with everything. I believe that. And I believe that for our members, I believe that for our clients, changing your mind, can change your relationship with money. And I believe we can all change our minds – but that is necessary, in my opinion, to be abundance bound, which is why I wanted to start with this word.KRISTINE:
What I love about the type of conversation we’re having here is that it’s a big picture conversation. There are a lot of podcasts that dive deep into the details, the tactics, the tools… they’re out there, they’re available in lots of places. But these kinds of conversations that pull you up and out of your life so you can view the whole of your life are so valuable. That’s really the tool that we’re giving you today, which is you already have the ability to nurture and build these muscles and skills that you need around belief, trust and faith and confidence that this can work for you. You have that in other areas of your life. So a) high five, and b) let’s pull those over into your financial area if that’s where you need it.MIATA:
Yes. And I really want to stress because I think it’s important, I did not have this belief about my financial relationship. Obviously, I wouldn’t even have used the word “financial relationship.” But I believed I had money problems. And I absolutely believed that there was a job that would fix those money problems, right? I believed that there was sort of the perfect part-time thing I could do that would support my life as an actor, without, you know, all this whole list of things that it definitely couldn’t do. I believed that my career would hit a place where the money problems would no longer exist, I believe that someone could teach me a tactic to no longer have debt. And that then after that someone could teach me a tactic to start building wealth, right. So I absolutely believed all of those things. And it was a journey for me to recognize that, basically, my beliefs weren’t actually supporting the life, I really wanted the experience of being in this world, that I wanted to be having none of those beliefs. Were getting me there. And so yes, I do now look at my beliefs about other things, definitely my beliefs around fitness. And I do look at what the journey has been for me in the area of my relationship with money, and how I can start to nurture and shift the beliefs also in the fitness area.KRISTINE:
The goal of any kind of coaching program is if the member has enough belief to step over the threshold, we greet them on the other side – any good coach worth their salt, greets them on the other side and says, “I will help you nurture your belief that this is possible for you.” In Creating Cashflow, all the tools are there. My job as the coach is to nurture people’s belief and let them see “Look what you did and look how this worked… or you could do it a little differently… or what about this?” and just keep them putting one foot in front of the other so they’re building the belief. That’s my job. I’m a belief nurturing machine. That is your job.
MIATA:
It’s like, let’s build some belief, right? Because our belief will lead to our commitment. And it will lead to actions that yes, although we say we cannot be attached to the external results. The reality is that the more we continue to show up in the world in a certain way, the more that we start to see and experience things in a way that support how we’re showing up. And so it becomes a cycle that we often refer to as the Power Cycle, right. But it is a cycle of – not magic results – it’s a cycle of belief being nurtured leading to actions that then lead to things that continue to reinforce the beliefs that lead to more actions. So we deliver the actions and the information. But we also must, as you put it, really nurture the belief. Inside-out change is very difficult, but it really is always what needs to happen first.KRISTINE:
And now Do you want to hear about Negranti ice cream?MIATA:
I absolutely do.KRISTINE:
I don’t believe it’s going to be everybody’s cup of tea, but it is a female owned ice cream company and it’s made from sheep milk, not cow’s milk, so it has a lower lactose level. Now first, when my husband’s like, “Hey, let’s try this,” I was like, “oh, sheep’s milk…?” I’m not an adventurous eater. And I was very hesitant, but I’m like, “Oh my god, this is really great!” Because the thing that makes gelato have such an intense flavor is it’s not as cold as ice cream. So ice cream has a more subtle flavor. And the Negranti ice cream is kind of in the middle. And it’s also not made with any eggs, so it’s lower in cholesterol. And for someone who has naturally high cholesterol through no fault of her own, I’m like, “Okay, good. This is this is better for me than the Haagen Dazs,” (which is also very good). So I’m in Southern California… it can be found in some Gelson’s but I have to hunt and pack. But you can also order directly from the company. And I just, I just love it. So there you go.MIATA:
All right. Awesome.KRISTINE:
Well, I look forward to having another conversation next month with you.MIATA:
Me as well.KRISTINE:
You and I have been meeting every single month for over a decade having conversations like this, and it’s so exciting to actually be putting them on the record. And thank you so much for listening.MIATA:
This podcast is our invitation to you an invitation to accelerate your progress towards a more expansive future by joining us in the Abundance Bound Financial Empowerment Program. It’s an invitation to develop a healthier relationship with your money, one that is less conflicted, less neglectful, less desperate. Our program offers a warm, friendly environment where you’ll have the space and time to work at your own speed and get the hands on support you need. You’ll receive step by step guidance that will help you strengthen your money mindset. Practice consistent money management and create additional streams of income to fund the life you want to live. Your next step is to learn more. So take a moment today and visit: AbundanceBound.com/financial-empowerment.KRISTINE:
All of the show notes for this episode are available at AbundanceBound.com/the-podcast. If you feel inspired to help more people find the podcast we’d greatly appreciate the support however you want to give it – share it with a friend, rate it on iTunes, even take a screenshot right now and post it on Instagram tagged @AbundanceBound. We are delighted you’re listening. Please keep taking very good care of your very talented self.