Abundance Bound podcast / episode fifteen: Play

MIATA:

Abundance is not about the amount of money you have. It’s about the quality of the relationship that you have with your money.

KRISTINE:

And no matter where you’re at right now, you can decide to become someone who is bound to abundance. Someone who is committed to having a healthier and more compassionate relationship with your money. And you can decide to become someone who is bound towards abundance, someone who is stepping into a more expansive financial future.

MIATA:

We are here to help you become abundance bound.

KRISTINE:

So who are you Miata Edoga?

MIATA:

I am someone who loves having salad for breakfast – and I’m the founder of the Abundance Bound Financial Education Company. And who are you Kristine Oller?

KRISTINE:

…someone who’s questioning if she can be your friend anymore. I’m just kidding, I’m just kidding! I love salad. I am a gal whose favorite movie is The Exorcist – which might make you question our friendship as well – and I’m the developer and coach for the Creating Cashflow Program, which lives inside of your Abundance Bound Financial Empowerment Program.

MIATA:

You see, this is what I love. I love the fact that two people who could be so different, in so many ways, can work so beautifully together and for so long. Because The Exorcist is the last thing you will ever, ever find me watching. So there we go.

KRISTINE:

I’ve seen it so many times. And one of the best days of my life is when they re-released it on the big screen so I could see in an actual theater. Yeah. Okay. So, on that note, today, we’re talking about play.

MIATA:

I really wanted to kind of kick off this New Year talking about play, because one of the things that I realized about myself is that I was someone who always drew an extremely firm line between work and play. The work – I made it so serious – and play well, that’s “when the work is done.” And I came to believe that not only was that not allowing me to live my best life, but I really have come to believe that that goes against a core tenant of what it actually means to be abundance bound.

KRISTINE:

The word “abundance” has so much energy to it. And Play is definitely that same kind of word. For me, I would describe my problem is that the line between my work and play is more blurred because I get so much enjoyment out of my work. When I’m interacting with the people who work for me and my clients who work with me, I inject a lot of humor and lightness into that. But then I think I mistake I’m getting enough play (or only one type of play) through my work.

MIATA:

That is such an important distinction. There is abundance in having work that we love and that brings us joy. But I have a coach I really admire who talks about, how in every virtue, there can be imbalance of excess or imbalance of too little. And so with working, we tend to think: “Oh, well, that’s a virtue.” But if we work all the time, even if we experience it as fun, well, that would be an imbalance of excess. You know I love to go to the dictionary when it comes to these words. And when we were kids, we didn’t need anyone to define play for us. We just went and we did it. You went outside and you played. We couldn’t wait! But somewhere between childhood and adulthood, I think that many of us do stop playing. And the distinction you’ve created for us is an important one. Because we say to ourselves: “Well, I now play through my work.” And I genuinely think that’s beautiful. But the dictionary tells us to play is “to engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation, rather than a serious or practical purpose.” Based on the dictionary definition, having enjoyment in our work is a worthy goal. However, there is still a serious or practical purpose. What play is, is actually there is no serious results. And that’s something very different.

KRISTINE:

Oh, yeah. One of the things a coach of mine has had to say multiple times to me… she’s checking in on my non-result-oriented activity. “What do you do that has no practical, purposeful result to it?” You’re literally just doing it. And I have the hardest time with that. Play is something that, as an adult, I’ve been working to really infuse my life with. And we can have this story – I know, I certainly did – that playing jeopardizes my financial security. If I’m playing, I’m not working. And if I’m not working, then I’m not making money and then I’m not – especially because I’m self employed that’s a very easy connection to make. But the difficulty is when it gets fused in your brain that “play is jeopardizing you” because it’s not. It’s actually an important part of becoming financially abundant – like, you cannot do it without play. And one of the things I love so much about how you teach this work, is you encourage people that there needs to be an amount of money that they use to play with. You know, that kind of thing. Because if you’re just accumulating the money, hoping that it’s going to give you a feeling of security – which it likely won’t because security comes from within – but if you’re accumulating all this money and never really using it for an abundant life, oh, then what really is the purpose here?

MIATA:

I love how you just said that we can have a tendency to view play as taking me away from the serious stuff, from the important stuff, from the stuff that’s going to get me results. But we know – science has proven – that play plays an enormous role in helping us strengthen our mindset, strengthen our emotional states. There is a fabulous book (and the title is leaving me so we’ll just include the title in the notes with this podcast), but it’s by Dr. Stuart Brown. And the book shares results of years of research on play. And this doctor, Dr. Brown, also founded – Kristine, I couldn’t believe this was a thing – the National Institute for Play. 

KRISTINE:

Oh! 

MIATA:

There is an actual institute. It’s a nonprofit. I took this from their website… they are committed to “bringing the unrealized knowledge, practices, and benefits of play into public life.” And they go on to say that “play is the gateway to vitality. By its nature, it is uniquely and intrinsically rewarding. It generates optimism seeks out novelty, makes perseverance fun, leads to mastery, gives the immune system a boost, fosters empathy, and promotes a sense of belonging and community.” In these lives we lead where we are so focused on our commitments we are losing the practice of pure fun. What I see in myself is that when I carve out leisure time, that is likely to be reading a book or zoning out in front of the television or the computer. And I’m not saying that with judgment, but that is very different than the kind of fun, rejuvenating play that we used to do as children.

KRISTINE:

Passive watching of entertainment, it’s an intellectual engagement, where I think play has so much more full-body engagement. It’s interesting, we do want to separate out for people like me: there’s work, and there’s play. But for people like you, we want to bring both together where you can have more play inside of your work. And one of the things, especially with money, when it’s like: “Oh, my gosh, I have to get my financial house in order,” it can seem like such an arduous task with a lot of, like, busy work that you have to do. And it’s so much healthier to start telling yourself stories that orient it as a game. As a game of like: “Okay, let me get curious about how I’m going to create more income in my life. Let me get curious about my numbers – they might be scary at first, but it would be good to know. And then let me get curious about how I’m going to build this.” When you start to embrace the idea that this is possible for you, and when you start to commit, as we talked about, in an earlier episode – I think it was with Ruthy, where she’s talking about her identity has become “someone who is abundance bound,” it’s like: “Okay!” Once you get that ingrained in you – that this is possible – then you can lighten up a little bit about it, because now it’s just a matter of time. Now, it’s just a matter of you putting one foot in front of the other and following the guidance that is in the Financial Empowerment Program (and in lots of books for free in the library). Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. But you don’t have to trudge along. You can actually skip along or sway along or tap dance along – that’s also an option.

MIATA:

Consciously choosing to bring a playfulness into all of the areas of our lives, what I think it does is that it engages the creative side of my brain. We have a tendency in many areas – but particularly with money – to make it so serious. And that can keep us entrenched in the things that we perceive as problems. And that can really be how we get stuck.

KRISTINE:

What’s so ironic – and so sad – is so many wildly creative people think that they’re so “bad at money.” And by the way, not having money doesn’t necessarily mean you’re bad at it. Like, overall. Like, if you were taught the tools you wouldn’t be able to use the tools. But it’s the very creativity that you have as this big gift in your life that will allow you to use these tools and do experiments and think of ways to make all of this feel a lot lighter. It is the people with the most access to their creativity that I think are the ones who have the best shot at a very abundant life.

MIATA:

I completely agree. We have to be willing to try a different way. And some of us have gotten very attached to believing that the hard way is the right way. That was a huge part of my story for many years. And neither you nor I are remotely sitting here suggesting that it’s all just about having a good time. But what we are suggesting is that finding space and freedom and enjoyment… it’s from that space that progress happens. And to me, it’s that space that is abundant.

KRISTINE:

When I’m working inside Creating Cashflow, I’m also looking at play from a very particular angle. Because I have to make sure that people aren’t adding a tightness into their life by trying to monetize the things they have fun with. Because sometimes when they’re thinking about income streams and, like: “Oh, what could I do for money?” It’s like: “Oh, but I love doing this – I could just do this!” But sometimes that element of our life is best left to be non-result-oriented or non-monetized and is the thing you do for expression, and shouldn’t necessarily be a business. Because then the line between your play and your work gets blurred. And although you like the thing you’re doing for work, it starts to feel heavier. Because whenever you’re creating an income stream, there’s the thing you’re doing (the service you’re providing, or the product), but then there’s the administrative stuff, and the marketing stuff, and stuff that is growing your business muscles and stretching you in uncomfortable ways, and when the thing you use to go: “But I love to do that so much!” and now you don’t love to do it as much anymore because it feels heavier. So I try to get to know the folks inside the program enough so that I can make sure we’re not going down that road. Now you can say: “Oh, I love doing this!” and we can find a piece of that, that can be extracted and turned into a business in a way that doesn’t cannibalize the fun. I also want to say that you can just work and you can earn an income in something that’s just a job. That’s just a job. My husband has a job. It’s okay. It’s definitely nothing that’s connected to purpose or passion. But that job affords him the ability to have a lot of play in his life. I’m so happy I’m married to him because he is much better at play than me. In fact, he infuses my life with a lot of non-result-oriented play. And I could, frankly, use even more of that. What we want when we’re creating a stream of income, a little side business, or just looking for a job that will then pay for our life, is we’re looking for something that doesn’t deplete us. I’m less concerned with how much fun it is than how much energy it takes from you. I just want you to make some money with as little energy as possible so you can then go either pursue your artistic career, or just do other things in life. That’s what I’m looking for – something that doesn’t make you tight and deplete you of your energy. It is okay (and not a moral failing) to just have a job that doesn’t deplete you of your energy and gets you money – fantastic!

MIATA:

Just remembering that with all of these tools – and I see play as a tool – it’s about being able to look at this area and say: “Where might this tool serve me?” It’s fascinating to me because, for 17 years, Abundance Bound has been working with non-traditional earners – with actors and artists and freelancers and entrepreneurs and people who were not following a traditional path – and what I have seen over these past 17 years is how the non-traditional earner has gone from being the weird kind of outlier, to actually being the way that more and more people are either choosing to earn or needing to earn. And I believe that that is a trend that is not changing. So the very things that are required to be a non-traditional earner, to build something yourself, those are the very skills and strengths that once you have the tools and the understanding of how to work with the ways that money comes in and out of your life, combine that understanding with your creativity and a willingness to play and you are unstoppable.

KRISTINE:

So now let’s talk about how fun it is to eat salad for breakfast.

MIATA:

Okay, so a lot of people make fun of me about this. And I can’t explain it… it’s a flavor that I just love starting my day off with. For me, a pretty perfect breakfast would be sliced cucumbers (and I like the Persian cucumbers – I don’t like the regular cucumbers with the kind of bitter skin – I like the Persian cucumbers), and fresh tomatoes, some feta cheese, some red wine vinegar, and salt and pepper sprinkled on there. It’s not heavy, but it’s satisfying. I just really love to start my day that way. And my children, my husband, so many of my friends are like: “That’s not breakfast!” But I enjoy it immensely. And I have to say, living now in Panama where I have tremendous access to tomatoes, especially – it’s like they were just picked and they have so much flavor – that I will often wake up and I’ll say: “Time for a salad!” It makes me so happy.

KRISTINE:

And that’s what counts. Thank you for this episode. It was fun!

MIATA:

It was fun. When I with you, I often feel that wonderful combination of work and play. 

KRISTINE:

Likewise.

MIATA:

This podcast is our invitation to you an invitation to accelerate your progress towards a more expansive future by joining us in the Abundance Bound Financial Empowerment Program. It’s an invitation to develop a healthier relationship with your money, one that is less conflicted, less neglectful, less desperate. Our program offers a warm, friendly environment where you’ll have the space and time to work at your own speed and get the hands on support you need. You’ll receive step by step guidance that will help you strengthen your money mindset. Practice consistent money management and create additional streams of income to fund the life you want to live. Your next step is to learn more. So take a moment today and visit: AbundanceBound.com/financial-empowerment.

KRISTINE:

All of the show notes for this episode are available at AbundanceBound.com/the-podcast. We are delighted you are listening. Please keep taking very good care of your very talented self.

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