Abundance Bound podcast / episode ten: Dominique Toney

MIATA:
Abundance is not about the amount of money you have. It’s about the quality of the relationship that you have with your money.

KRISTINE:
And no matter where you’re at right now, you can decide to become someone who is bound to abundance. Someone who is committed to having a healthier and more compassionate relationship with your money. And you can decide to become someone who is bound towards abundance, someone who is stepping into a more expansive financial future.

MIATA:
We are here to help you become abundance bound.

KRISTINE:
Hello, I’m Kristine Oller, co-host of this podcast and today I’m delighted to have Dominique Toney joining us to share why she started surrounding herself with layers of financial support in preparation for a big break that she believed would happen, and how all of that preparation helped her to fully enjoy her financial windfall when it finally came. Dominique embodies some of the typical and frustrating dichotomies faced by many artists and freelancers. She has elevated her acting and singing talents to a professional level – and she has six figures of student loan debt. She books work in the industry that she loves – and she’s had times when finding enough money to repair her car or pay her dentist was a total struggle. And, like you, she has choices. And it’s the choices that Dominique has made – and continues to make –regarding her relationship with money that are contributing to her ability to create financial abundance. Keep listening to hear how Dominique’s choices – to start educating herself about money, to utilize the tool of an accountability partner, and to learn from other people’s mistakes – are truly paying off. Why were you seeking out help with the financial side of your life in the first place?

DOMINIQUE:
Back in 2015, I booked a commercial – it was a Payless shoes commercial. one commercial turned into, like, fifteen – which is the thing that, you know, we all dream of! It was really cool. It was me and three other girls. And they ended up flying us to Chicago for a week a month for a year and a half. And I started to realize: “Oh, gosh! I’m making (at that time, you know) more money than I had ever made in my life.” And I was like: “Oh, I should be smart with this. I should figure out a way to save and invest.” And then my buddy from college recommended I take this class – I trusted him, I knew he knew what he was doing – and so when he said: “Miata,” I was like: “Great, sign me up.” And so I did that in 2016, and I’ve sort of been in the Abundance Bound world since then.

KRISTINE:
Now when you started doing that – because it’s like a six-week class – what were the emotions that that all stirred up?

DOMINIQUE:
Oh, yeah… okay, so I definitely felt overwhelmed. I was like: “Oh, wow, there’s so much more that I didn’t realize I had to learn.” There was a part of me that felt like: “Oh, gosh, I have to play catch up now.” Because in my mind, I thought everyone has known about this, right? I’m just the only person that is figuring out that you should separate your personal and business expenses, and you should have a Roth IRA… I was like: “What in the world is that?” You know, I didn’t grow up learning about these things. Who does, right? And then of course, they’re not teaching us this in college. Yeah, I felt overwhelmed to the point that I ended up taking Miata’s class twice. I think at least twice. I might have taken it three times just so I could catch the little bits and pieces that I knew I was missing. Because so much was going over my head and in the pieces that I was catching on to I was like: “Okay, great – I can focus on that.” I think I kind of just approached everything from like: “Okay, I’m gonna humble myself and be a beginner and it’s okay to be (I was in my late 20s) figuring this stuff out.” And yeah, I was like: “It’s okay. I’m going to be a beginner.”

KRISTINE:
Now, what’s interesting is you had an influx of income that spurred you and motivated you to be like: “Okay, let me really learn about this money stuff now that I really have some.” Why do you think that was where your brain went versus – because I think a lot of people are like: “Oh, well, now that I have the money coming in, I don’t have to think about it now.”

DOMINIQUE:
Ah, okay. So I’ve got a friend who, when I booked these commercials, he was like: “Oh, great! So you get to buy a house now?” And even though I know it was sort of a joke, there was something in my brain that was like: “Oh, gosh, do people think I’m now going to buy a house? Like I’m not making that much money by any means.” But that’s a common story of people making money and then really not knowing what to do with it and spending it all. I think between that, and my friend’s joke, I was like: “Okay, I’m gonna be really smart. I know I need some assistance with this and now’s the time to sort of get financially savvy.”

KRISTINE:
I know you come from an artistic family…

DOMINIQUE:
Yeah.

KRISTINE:
…your parents. So were there any money stories that you grew up with that you’ve found yourself having to unwind from or choose a different story for yourself going forward?

DOMINIQUE:
Oh, totally, totally. So my parents are artists – my dad is in the music industry and my mom is on the fashion and costume design side of things. And so my parents have always worked for themselves, which was really cool for me growing up to see my parents following their dreams. I’m pretty sure that’s why I felt comfortable and confident to do that, myself. I grew up middle – and then upper middle – class, so I didn’t see my parents struggle with money. But they had friends who were like: “Oh, yeah, you know, so-and-so didn’t look at the contract and they signed their record deal and they don’t own a house, and this happened and this…” So I definitely grew up with like: “Oh, so that’s what not to do.” And then, seeing my parents navigate their finances pretty well. So when I got the commercial, I think the only money story I had really was like: “Don’t mess this up. You’ve got a good opportunity here to make some good choices. So let’s go do that.”

KRISTINE:
So you didn’t really grow up with the “starving artist” mythology hanging over you?

DOMINIQUE:
Gosh, no, I guess I didn’t. What was modeled for me by my parents was a “thriving artist.”

KRISTINE:
What a blessing! Your intelligence paired with you seeing artists at work and you being able to glean from that: “Oh, this commercial situation isn’t something to be squandered.” You viewed it as an opportunity on which to build.

DOMINIQUE:
Yeah. There’s a part of this story that I do want to add now, because it did pepper a lot of my choices. I went to NYU. So I have a lot of student loan debt – like six figures worth of student loan debt. I didn’t have the starving artists mentality, but there was this sort of cloud, there’s always been this cloud of student debt hanging over my head. And I want to say that probably has also influenced my decision-making about how to spend money, how to save it, because I’ve always had this this debt. It wasn’t just like: “Oh, great, I’ve got this commercial money and I can save it all.” It’s like: “Oh, now I’ve got to start paying down some debt.” You know?

KRISTINE:
Yeah. You took the classes from Miata, but then, like you said, you’ve stayed in the Abundance Bound orbit. What drew you to continue your work with Miata?

DOMINIQUE:
A couple of things. I knew that the commercial was definitely – as you said so brilliantly – a placed to build on. And I had a sense that: “Oh, this is just the beginning. I know that in the years to come I’m going to book a really juicy job that I want to mentally and systemically be prepared for.” And so I knew that staying in this work would greatly benefit me: “This is going to be good for me for when the big job comes.” And then also, I now have a system for when a residual check comes in… a residual check would come in, and I’d be like: “Okay, cool, I guess I can buy that pair of shoes I want.” And then I took Miata’s class and I was like: “Okay, cool. I know that I’m going to divvy this up four ways and I’m going to put it in this account and this account and then this will go to me and then I’m going to save…” I had a system and I felt really, really empowered. And that was really important to me because I just think prior to working with Miata I had a lot of fear when it came to debt and savings – and investing was like: “Oh gosh, I don’t even I didn’t even know how to touch that!” Everything just felt like: “Oh, if I don’t understand it then I’m just gonna not even deal with it,” to the point that there were years when I was so afraid to open up my online bank account because I was afraid of: “Did I overdraw, or, oh gosh, how close am I to being at whatever amount or oh, gosh, did that check go through? It did oh, gosh, look at my account now.” You know, just constantly fear, fear. fear.

KRISTINE:
So you actually did that work and laid this financial foundation, and then you did book a big job that took you to – I’m assuming it took you to a different income level because you’re a series regular in an Apple TV series, Puppy Place.

DOMINIQUE:
Yeah.

KRISTINE:
I’m just so happy for you because it looks like it’s a great job in that the message of the show is so wonderful – on top of just being employed as an actor.

DOMINIQUE:
In a pandemic.

KRISTINE:
Yes, totally!

DOMINIQUE:
Oh, okay – so much to talk about. Okay, so I found my accountability partner through Miata’s class and she and I meet up once a week via FaceTime (and once-in-a-while in person), and we work on our finances for a minimum of an hour. And that’s something that was instilled to me in Miata’s class, like: “Find your person. You have to be working on your finances, if you want to see your money grow.” And that was a really foreign concept to me, and totally makes sense now. So I met my accountability partner and what was really cool was that she was just a couple of steps ahead of me in terms of everything… she started her S Corp before me, she was making six figures before I was, so I kind of like looked at her as a big sister in a sense of like: “Ah, I will be there one day.” And so at the top of 2020, before we knew what was to come March 17, I started my S Corp at the end of January. I was like: “I’m gonna open my S Corp because last year – 2019 – was a really good year and I anticipate this year will be a good year.” not knowing that eight months later I would book the series regular job – but the mind is powerful, right? So I opened my S Corp and then the pandemic happened. And I was like: “Wow, of all the years for me to open my S Corp, Dominique. Wow, look at look at the choices we’re making.” But I opened it and then switched to QuickBooks Online. And so during the pandemic, I’m doing all this work, I’m still meeting with my accountability partner, I’m kind of proceeding as if things are normal, finances wise. And then I booked this job, November 5 2020. So I’m actually coming up on my anniversary of booking this job. I get this self tape for this Apple TV show. They don’t even give us the script. You know, it’s the week of the election, I was working as an election poll worker, and that was like really taking up a lot of my energy and time. And I was just like: “Look, I got important work to do for the country!” And this little self tape really was not significant to me. But I did it, I had a friend do it, and I did it like at 10 o’clock at night, because I needed it the next morning. But the next morning, I had to go train to be a poll worker. So I squeezed it in and had very little attachment to the results, which I think was also important in the scheme of the story because I think that my lack of attachment is what helped me book it because I just was like: “I gotta go be a poll worker! Here’s your self tape!” And then there was a callback, and then the chemistry read, and then I get a call that I booked the series regular role. And the contract was gonna come through and the table read was in a couple of days and like: “Holy smokes, what is happening?” So I booked this job that really, really did change my life. It changed me as a person. And artistically, I learned so much. And then of course, financially really changed things. Honestly, when I booked the job, it was just effortless. It was like: “Oh, yeah, I have an S Corp, so you’re gonna pay me through my S Corp and I’ve already been using QuickBooks so I’m just gonna keep using QuickBooks. And I already had a CPA…” All the work with Miata paid off. That, for me was a huge eye-opening moment of like: “Yes, sometimes you got to start before you’re ready.” You don’t start the thing when you book the thing, you get your life ready for what it’s going to be.

KRISTINE:
I think a lot of people are like: “I will deal with that when it comes…”

DOMINIQUE:
Yes.

KRISTINE:
“…suddenly, I will change as a person and really deal with my stuff.” What do you think the experience of booking the job would have been like for you if you hadn’t done any of this work and had any of it in place?

DOMINIQUE:
I know there would have been anxiety just with the administrative work: “Oh, gosh, my CPA has to do a rush order of opening this S Corp.” I know I would have been overwhelmed because you know, we were in a pandemic, so there was a lot of that stuff of like the COVID testing and this and that. I had got a dog in the pandemic. So it was like: “Oh, gosh, what am I gonna do with my dog while I’m filming? I’ve got to find a doggy daycare. And oh my god, I’ve got to be up at 4:30am which means I’ve got to completely switch my schedule around. I’ve got to be in bed by 10. So I’ve got to learn lines. I’ve got a new family I’ve got a bond with!” There’s no way I would have been equipped to handle it. And you know, my co-star on the show, he did not have an S Corp when we started the show and so I got to kind of see what the other option of this is, right? Where he had his money coming to him with the taxes taken out. And he shared with me: “I didn’t, I wasn’t able to open my S Corp in time. So if we get a second season knock on wood, then I’ll be able to have my income coming through the S Corp.” But, you know, we filmed for nearly seven months, and he was like: “Yeah, the taxes, the taxes!” And then also, you know, you mentioned like, just the anxiety of now making this amount of money. It’s definitely like: “Oh my gosh, I’ve never seen this number in my bank account.” And like there’s definitely a shifting of: “Oh, gosh, am I worthy of this? Am I allowed to be making this?” There were days of guilt of like: “Oh, my gosh, I have friends who are struggling right now.” Yeah, there’s just a lot of stuff around the money.

KRISTINE:
Yeah. The points that you just made are so important – how much mental bandwidth is taken up when you shift into a higher income bracket, even if it’s temporary. Not necessarily the relationships you have with the actual people, but just the relational dynamics of moving when everyone doesn’t move at the same time?

DOMINIQUE:
Yes.

KRISTINE:
And to have to start your financial education, your relational dynamics… “Where do I actually put this money? Oh, my God, the government’s taking a lot of it…” to have to do all that at once takes away, I would think, from the joy that you’re able to experience from this wonderful thing coming into your life.

DOMINIQUE:
Totally.

KRISTINE:
How proud was your accountability buddy of you?

DOMINIQUE:
She was so proud. She was so happy – and genuine, you know? You can tell when someone’s kind of happy for you but, like, there’s something underneath it. Oh, my gosh, her joy, her enthusiasm was just – shout out to Adrienne, I love you, girl! We’re that way for each other. She’s a writer. And she’s sold several shows. And she’s, like, pitching to Warner Brothers this day and pitching in Netflix this day. And I’m just like: “Girl, you’re doing it!” Yeah, community is important.

KRISTINE:
Yeah, let’s talk about that for a minute because I am a big fan of accountability buddies. And I ran mastermind groups every single month for 20 consecutive years, because I really believe in this idea of community. And the idea of being in a space where your growth is being witnessed – your choices, your investment in yourself of sweat equity – is being witnessed.

DOMINIQUE:
Yeah.

KRISTINE:
You’re not doing it alone. And everyone can applaud you for the big things – we all know to clap and go: “Oh my God, you got on a series!” because that’s a big deal. But sometimes opening that S Corp, or making that phone call is just as big of a deal. And to have somebody there who understands how big of a deal and hurdle and challenge that was for you and can genuinely, as you said, go: “Oh, congratulations on that – good job, Dominique!” How is it like to have someone who’s really witnessed your journey?

DOMINIQUE:
Oh, that just really touched me because so much of this work can be done in a vacuum, you know? Sometimes you second-guess your progress. And sometimes we need that mirror, right? That person that’s gonna say: “Hey, hold up, you’re doing great. Let me remind you!” Truly, without her, I would not be working on my finances every week. She’s just so on it. We’ll finish our meeting and then she’ll be like: “Let’s set the next date. Right now. We’re not gonna let five, seven, ten days pass without coordinating our schedules. Let’s do it now.” I’m grateful to her for that. And also, I just think it’s so cool that for both of us, we’re like on different levels, but also at the same level, watching each other grow. And she wants to do things that I’m doing, and I want to do things that she’s doing. So that’s just…

KRISTINE:
Yeah, but what did you bring to the table as her accountability person?

DOMINIQUE:
Oh, gosh, it’s so weird putting the light on me. It’s like: “Oh, gosh, what did I bring?” Well, I’m really proud of myself for this: I do what I say I’m gonna do. I’m disciplined. I just I set my mind to something and I follow through. And I think that she has appreciated having an accountability partner that shows up at 2pm on Friday like I said I was going to – and I don’t show up unprepared. We’re both going up the ladder at the same time, but different ladders.

KRISTINE:
And even though you hadn’t booked the series, when you guys started working together, you were already a professional – in your mindset. And the reason I asked that question is because often people are like: “I want an accountability partner who’s really there for me, but I don’t bring anything to the table.” It’s like: Yes – if you’re professionally minded and you’re motivated, and you’re willing to show up – because that’s what she wanted. She wanted someone who’s taking this seriously. And that’s what you provided and that’s why it worked. And then chemistry – you guys just really like each other as well.

DOMINIQUE:
Yep. As you were talking, I was thinking to myself: “What was it about Adrian that I was like, Ah, that’s my accountability partner!” I noticed that she asked questions. When Miata would open up a forum, Adrian asked questions. And in class, she just was leaning forward. So I was like: “That’s the kind of person I want to be engaged with.” So for anybody that’s looking for an accountability partner, look for the person that’s asking questions and engaged because that’s going to be someone that’s going to show up. And if I can share, prior to us being accountability partners, there was another person in Miata’s class that I was potentially going to be accountability partners with. Oh, I hope I don’t sound terrible, but I think it’s important to share. I had a decision to make. She and I met for coffee, and we were working on our finances, and I could just tell that we were in drastically different places. She was just getting started. And I was like: “Oh, I want to be challenged. So I’m going to go find an accountability partner that’s going to challenge me.” and I politely said to her: “I don’t think this is going to work out.” And then you know, not long after that, Adrienne came along and just was the right fit. I don’t know, I think that was a big decision for me of just, like, sometimes the easy choices are there in front of us, but I knew I needed to be stretched and to be alongside someone who was just a little bit further ahead than me.

KRISTINE:
I am so glad you shared that because this is one of the biggest things that I think slows people down in business – any sort of business. An accountability partnership – it has to work for it to work. There has to be a chemistry but also the same level of motivation and positivity and dedication to the work. You guys could be working in completely different fields, but if those things are in alignment, then it’s going to work. And so many people slow themselves down in business by knowing it’s not the right fit, but you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. It’s hard. I mean, that conversation wasn’t a fun conversation.

DOMINIQUE:
No, no, no.

KRISTINE:
But the fact that you had it and put your agenda (of what you’re trying to accomplish from the big picture perspective) as the priority over the interpersonal discomfort of just admitting that this wasn’t the right match for you, speaks volumes about who you’ve decided to be in the world. You can do that breakup or that decline – you can do it as a flake, or you can do it as an upstanding human being. So as long as you do it in a lovely, professional way, you’ve made a professional business decision. And now you can move on and find a better match for your business thing.

DOMINIQUE:
100%. And, you know, I had to learn – with booking the show, it became clear to me that like, I was going to have to be okay, saying: “Nope, this is not for me.” Because it was like: “Oh, I can do your bookkeeping for you, and it’ll be this much a month… and this other service can do this for you…” and it’s like: “Hold on, hold on, hold on.” I had to be okay saying “no” and figuring out what was right for me. Even if it meant having an uncomfortable conversation. It’s like, you’re not going to hurt people’s feelings. It’s okay to do what is best for you. I feel proud that, honestly, I’m still living like I was in 2019 and 2020. I may be making more money, but I’m still living like I make less than six figures a year. Live within your means and save. And treat yourself once in a while because we deserve it. Right?

KRISTINE:
And I love that that’s part of Miata’s whole philosophy: enjoying your money. There’s room for that even with debt. Even with miles of debt, there’s room for enjoyment. That’s part of the whole mix. I love that. So what does being abundance bound mean to you?

DOMINIQUE:
Well, to me, being abundance bound means… to me it just means, I guess, growth… growth and aspiration. You’re growing into abundance and that there’s more abundance to be found. Yeah.

KRISTINE:
Oh, Dominique, you’re a pleasure.

DOMINIQUE:
Thanks, Kristine. Such a great conversation.

KRISTINE:
“Being abundance bound means growth and aspiration.” Dominique, that’s music to my ears. We are sharing Dominic story to remind you that a solid financial education is, unfortunately, not something you get within the school system. A financial education is something that you have the choice to integrate into your life once you’re an adult. And it’s never too late to make that choice. And it’s one of those choices that always, always, always pays off. You can find Dominique online at DominiqueToney.com and you can watch her starring in the series Puppy Place currently streaming on Apple TV.

MIATA:
This podcast is our invitation to you an invitation to accelerate your progress towards a more expansive future by joining us in the Abundance Bound Financial Empowerment Program. It’s an invitation to develop a healthier relationship with your money, one that is less conflicted, less neglectful, less desperate. Our program offers a warm, friendly environment where you’ll have the space and time to work at your own speed and get the hands on support you need. You’ll receive step by step guidance that will help you strengthen your money mindset. Practice consistent money management and create additional streams of income to fund the life you want to live. Your next step is to learn more. So take a moment today and visit: AbundanceBound.com/financial-empowerment.

KRISTINE:
All of the show notes for this episode are available at AbundanceBound.com/the-podcast. We are delighted you are listening. Please keep taking very good care of your very talented self.

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